Remember the unnerving plight of the amazing St. James Davis? You know, the guy who had his nuts and face eaten off by surly chimpanzees? (See the compelling May post “No Viagra® for me, please. A chimpanzee ate my nuts” for reference.) Secretly, I knew you wanted an update, and secretly, I knew you were too lazy to do your own research, so the Angry Czeck did it for you. Apparently, the mighty St. James has been shaken awake from his medically induced coma (quite possible by his now single-thumbed wife, LaDonna). Here’s a snippet from the Ridgecrest Daily Independent:
“Since being transported to Loma Linda, Davis has been in a medically induced coma. Recently doctors decided it was time to revive him. He made an effort to speak but it was nearly impossible because his lips were missing. Doctors gave him an electronic voice box, which he held up against his throat. It was the first time he has spoken since the attack and his first words were “How is Moe doing?” (Angry Reminder: “Moe” is St. Jame’s pet monkey.)
Despite this astounding progress, there is still a lot of work to be done and more experimental surgeries are being discussed.
Doctors are considering manufacturing a prosthetic nose that can be snapped off for cleaning and then snapped back on.”
I’ll bet St. James is really looking forward to keeping his new snap-on nose clean. Let St. James be your living lesson NEVER to befriend a monkey, damnitt. It ain’t worth your lips. Instead, meet some people at the Mall, or buy a hamster.