Pit Bull Owners: Why aren’t you smart?

My menu of beliefs and philosophies isn’t complex. I dislike people who park backwards in spaces. I don’t believe anyone above the age of three is afraid of clowns. And I think people who own pit bulls are idiots.

If you’re reading this, and you own a pit bull, then I’m sorry. I’m insensitive. What I meant to say is, you’re not smart.

The basic argument for the ownership of pit bulls is that, in loving hands, the dogs are gentle companions. By the same reasoning, so is a jar of angry Africanized bees. But if I let my kids play with a jar of deadly bees, you bet there’d be some outrage, no?

When a pit bull rips off a toddler’s face with its insanely powerful jaws, the first thing pit bull owners claim is, “It’s not the dog’s fault!” If I’m the town Sheriff, then I agree in part. Because after I shoot your dangerous pit bull, I’m hauling the owner off to prison. Idiots Prison.

Vote for Angry Czeck, County Sheriff. I pledge to deport all pit bulls to France, where I hear they have had some success in transplanting human faces.

NOT HUMAN DOUCHE BAG

Click to enlarge. Yeah. Click it. That’s right. That’s good. Keep clicking.


Sure, I’m no Jim Davis, but I am especially pleased with my green cloud of mustard gas (and the corresponding bones) on Panel 5. My only regret is the wording in Panel 4, which is confusing. Sorry.

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6 responses to “Pit Bull Owners: Why aren’t you smart?

  1. I’d vote for you.It’s been a while since I’ve read your posts.You never fail to entertain, or make me laugh to the point of snotting on myself…xoxo

  2. ur fucken stupid!! not all pit bulls come out fucked up like that!! your just a dumbass who talks alota shit just because you hear other people talking shit u do 2!

  3. kristinamorland

    Men are more dangerous than pit bulls and we allow them to roam freely. Just as every breed has the potential for violence, both genders can be dangerous, but the male of our species is much stronger and outbursts can be much more deadly. Males have a higher tendency toward sexual deviance and sexual aggression toward women, other men, and children. They have a higher tendency toward violent acts and can be attributed to causing most of the wars throughout history. Yet we allow them to walk the streets, care for children, operate motor vehicles, and make decisions that affect entire countries.If you are a man, Angry Czeck, than I am sorry. I’m insensitive. What I mean to say is, you’re not smart.

  4. kristinamorland, you’re my new hero. and to the misinformed czeck, i’d bet money you are as self-righteous and obnoxious as i’m thinking. i was driving in the middle of winter when i found a starving mother pit bull with all her babies dead. i’ve had her for 3 years now and she is the sweetest dog you could ever ask for. you are ignorant. on the news do you EVER see intelligent, educated, responsible people involved in pitbull attacks? NO. you see rednecks or gangsters with a testosterone imbalance saying “i don’t know what happened” when the dog has obviously been mistreated. DON’T BLAME THE DOGS IT’S MACHO SCUMBAGS MAKING ALL PITBULLS LOOK BAD. Rescuing dogs is such a great thing to do. DON’T BUY FROM BREEDERS!

  5. kristinamorland, you've got it all wrong. Women are just as sexually deviant as men. It's just hotter when it's a chick.

  6. I will have to agree with you that pit bulls have become dangerous over the years. The rednecks and Michael Vick are doing their best to change the dogs DNA. I actually almost got my own face chewed off from a mommy pit bull a few weeks ago right in front of my house. However, I do disagree that they should all be euthanized. I have two dogs in my backyard. A pit bull and a great dane. One of them bit a kid and has to be put down.* Care to take a guess? Not the pit bull.

    *Kid was barely hurt, he provoked dog bite, insurance deal

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