Vote you ignorant fucks

This essay represents the tenth post of The Angry Czeck Century Series, a thought-provoking collection of penetrating harangues of rancor leading to the Angry Czeck’s 100th Post. You are currently reading Post 97.


Several years ago, while attending a comic book convention in Chicago, the Angry Czeck found himself having dinner with several conventioneers. Without taking an official poll, it was safe to say that it was a liberal bunch. Young. Irritating. Idealistic. Vegetarian.

The 2004 election was approaching, and I was already infused with Frankenstein electricity – the kind that could resurrect my hope for humanity. Bush’s days were numbered. His administration was a sham. A failure. The leading candidate for the Democrats was a decorated war veteran. We were going to win!

Casually, I asked the guy to my right who had his vote. His answer was a shrug (the evil cousin and cahoot of “So”).

“You don’t care?” I asked, disbelieving.

“I figure it doesn’t really matter,” he said, biting into his salad. “I dropped out years ago.”

So there you had it. Thing is, you could tell that he believed himself to be this idealistic life-wanderer who was too far above the dirt and grime of politics, instead of the dickless and lazy knucklehead who just trashed his most basic expression of freedom this country affords us.

My liberal friends came away from 2000 and 2004 genuinely confused. How could it happen? Everybody was liberal! The media said so! What the hell happened?

What Karl Rove knew, and what my fellow liberals apparently did not know, is that Republicans vote. Every last motherfucking one of them. Meanwhile, we can Rock the Vote as hard as we want, but so long as young liberals use 2000 as a excuse to bitch rather than vote, we might as well polish the Oval Office for President Romney.

As usual, the Angry Czeck has a solution for young liberal malaise. True, it’ll get messy. Yes, some heads may get cracked, but damnitt! If we won’t listen to Matt Damon, maybe we will listen to someone willing to bruise his knuckles:

Bennett Let’s Off Some Steam
Click to make Vernon Wells even bigger!

I’m not sure if using colored pencils was the best way to color the panels, but I do enjoy the third-to-last panel the most. Plus, I can’t believe how easy it is to illustrate Vernon Wells. He’s all mustache, teeth, and eyeballs!

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One response to “Vote you ignorant fucks

  1. “Biting into his salad.” Priceless.

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