President Barack Obama is to address the Nation’s school children on Wednesday, and predictably the Conservative right went absolutely nuts. The President wants to welcome the kids back to school! Jesus, no!
Completely paranoid and blinded by their own pettiness, it amazes me how these supposedly patriotic people show so much disrespect for the President of the United States. Since when is our President an enemy? As much as I loathed President George W. Bush, I’d have welcomed a speech from him to my children.
This is our leader, Angry Junior. What do you think?
But then you know what? The Angry Czeck got a hold of Mr. Obama’s speech, and I think the Conservative’s have hit on something. More than that, I’ve become a convert. The speech is laden with sinister secret messages and covert instructions – like a Black Sabbath album, which makes more sense now that I think about it because Obama is black.
Just read the speech, man! Obama is indoctrinating our children into some kind of Nazi Youth agenda! I don’t have any special high-tech equipment, but I strongly advise those who do to sweep this speech for subliminal messages. Not that I didn’t find a bunch already, and the only tech I used was my American smarts.
Check it out. You can’t make this shit up. These are Obama’s creepy words lifted straight from his creepy speech!
“When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school.”
Indonesia! That ain’t America, last I checked my Rand McNally. Remember when everybody said that The Birthers were crazy? Not so much anymore. And look! He didn’t say “where all the OTHER American kids went to school.” See where I’m going here?
Obama indoctrinates your children in a green energy labor camp
“I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.”
Not only is Obama trying to take over the family, he’s busting on big business! Big business, unlike big government, is the only institution the American people can trust! Obama’s twisted Socialist agenda never rests, even on a school day. I’m on to you, Frenchy.
“And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military?”
Ho ho! Here comes Obama, trying to replace our fighting men and women with learned egg heads with fancy degrees. Listen, Obama: it doesn’t take a professor to tell a soldier what heathen to shoot.
“You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment.”
Oh? Is that so, Obama? What about GOD? Did you ever consider that God was already on the case? Of course not. What do you have against God, Obama, except that He isn’t Muslim and loves America?
“You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.”
More big government meddling in private enterprise. This is clearly not the country our Founding Father’s envisioned (as in, they didn’t envision a 3/5 of an American to ever hold office), Don’t you have a car company to run, Obama? Stay out of my kids’ heads!
“So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.”
Not proud forging a birth certificate to make people think you’re American? Not proud of stealing this country from freedom-loving Americans? See I’m on to you, you sneaky sonuvabitch.
Obama’s school speech is as phoney as a birth certificate.
“Here in America, you write your own destiny.”
Obama hates God!
“Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book.”
By “book,” he means the Koran. I’m on to you.
“Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community.”
Sure. “Volunteer.” Volunteer for the Obama Youth Club of Godlessness and Sorcery. No white people need apply. Because Obama hates white people, Christians, kittens, and America. Especially America.
Next on the Obama hit list.
“But the truth is, being successful is hard.”
Obama hates Capitalism!
“Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published.”
Obama wants you to ready the Godless Harry Potter series and not the Bible. He says it right there. And if you read between the lines, he also wants you to fire newborn babies out of homemade catapults.
“Don’t be afraid to ask questions.”
Yet another unprovoked attack on Christianity! Religion is people not asking questions. Obama is a pagan menace!
“So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.”
Obama wants your children to ask a coach about sex and not God. What does this guy have against God?
“What is the dealio with this Obama guy?”
“I expect great things from each of you.”
Sure. Like dumping capitalism, surrendering firearms, rejecting the Lord, firebombing the oil industry, having homo sex and signing your Commie card. I’m on to you!
“Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.”
Obama rubs his anti-American Godlessness in our faces! If you listen closely, you’ll hear his demon-seed staffers chuckling in the background.
As you can plainly see, Obama’s devious agenda is easily decrypted by my powerful mind. Anybody who lets their kid watch this 18 minutes of mind control will end up paying for expensive sex re-education camps in the future. Keep your kids home and have them watch SpongeBob until this whole Communist mess blows buy.